In Preparation for the Sabboth

Today is cold and a little dreary day. Though this may be the case, it is still a beautiful day. Jonathan is working again today. He worked from about 6:30 last night until 12:30 this morning. We are still trying to go with the flow with him being gone so much, and we are doing pretty well. I do have a hard time not having time with him and I though. But we seem to be doing well.

Last night my second oldest brother, Chris was married to Mindee. It was a very beautiful wedding and all who participated looked fantastic! I can't believe it's finally done! I am so very happy and excited for them and Jesse, Trevor and Colton! They are all so very happy and they all deserve it! I love to see Chris so happy!!!! I love them all so much! And I look forward to sharing many happy memories for many years to come! It was a great reception, with a short line, dancing, and lots of it! Brayson was asleep for most of the reception and Kenadi slept for some of it. But we were able to dance a little. And we were all able to dance one slow dance together. Although it could have been more fun with Jon, we still had a blast!

Kenadi is joining the world of talking slowly but surely! She now says, Momma, Dad, Ought oh, Grampa and Grama, bye bye, love you, yes, ugh uh, ball and I think that's pretty much it. She also is signing a little. She is more into talking though. But she will sign water, milk, bird, eat, all done, more (only a little) and dog. She is growing so fast and learns so much from Brayson. He is such a great help most of the time! He loves to hold and hug Kenadi, even when she doesn't want to. Brayson is still stoked about Pre-School! And he is speaking more clearly every day. He loves to play with kids of all ages and do so many different things. He will do pretty much whatever the other kids tell him to do, which can be good and bad. He loves to be with family and is learning how to share more. As he is officially three, he has begun to talk back to me a lot.

I am struggling within myself, and find that it is when I am slacking on scripture study and prayers, and family study and prayers that it becomes worse. I also find that I either have a hard time with Brayson or with my eating disorder. As I work to find a midpoint, I pray night and day to see myself as Christ sees me. I read a bit of Sister Becks talk from last years Young Women meeting. She talked about her granddaughter who knew she was special. She related this to how girls lose this as they grow. Women forget their divine qualities and divine nature. I know I have! I don't see in the mirror who everyone else sees on the outside and it affects every part of me! It affects my children and my whole life. I know this will be a struggle that I will battle my whole life, and there will be times when I am winning and times when I am on the other side, but I hope I will never be lost! I don't see that happening, with so many friends and family members watching out for me and doing their best to help me overcome this weakness. I know that God loves me and has a great plan for me. I trust him and know that he hasn't and won't give me anything I can not handle! I have faith that through my obedience and whole hearted dedication to our Savior and his work, I will return to live with him and our Father in Heaven with my sweet husband and many other loved ones some day.

Today I re-dedicate myself to his work and to giving myself to my family and my friends. I dedicate my time in my callings and first to my family! I will share my testimony with others and live worthy of the strength, love, support, and guidance of the Holy Spirit! Today I will strive to win each battle, overcome each obstacle, and strive to stand firm and steadfast in the gospel and living it each moment. I won't let the little things get me down. I won't let the precious moments pass by, for children aren't children for long! Today I will GO TO WORK!